I hope this guide can help you survive the duration of her upcoming pre-menstruation. A female PMS comes every month(mostly) and this is one of the longest downtimes for ladies. There’s so much going on in her emotions and mind. At bad times you will face the invisible monster for up to 2 weeks, most dreadful for guys. You can’t catch and kill the culprit, it will always appear every month. What you can do is to learn how to deal with the female period.
But there’s a technique to survive and score during these periods (Pun intended).
1 Catch the Signs of Premenstrual Syndrome (PMS)
Almost every word pricks. She becomes more snappy and more irritable than usual.
Peaceful times are always threatened. This overblown proportion of reaction to minor issues
And a good hint is when you ask “What’s wrong?” Or “Is there anything wrong?” she’ll just shrug it off, and answer “nothing”.
This is a good sign of Premenstrual Syndrome (Female Period)
(Read more on Women’s mind below)
And so, if you can’t spot her PMS. Then most likely you would have missed a whole lot of preparation for what’s coming next.
Although she can smile and look happy, there’s a lot going on internally. Most of time, she’s at negative.
Let me attempt to help you understand the mechanics on how to maneuver during this period and prevent further arguments and misunderstandings.
Hopefully, you will be forgiven for 6-12 times (convert that to 6 to 12 months)
What your Girlfriend/ Wife requires of you, is your patient understanding, especially if you are the damn straight and dense type.
Or Non-effeminate or macho man types will suffer indefinitely during this 1 week. (6 days If lucky)
Why Do Guys Fail?
And there goes the saying “Men will never understand women.”
Yes, that’s because guys are always barking on the bloody wrong tree!
We don’t have to know what they are thinking, we only need to understand how the PMS mechanics work and how our partner copes with their Menses. We need to know our role and do it well.
2 Take Off Your Problem Solving Hat
Don’t go problem-solving mode. They don’t need you to help with the problem. They learned to live with it even before knowing you.
What you have to do is to observe and know what to do for the following days.
Meanwhile, teaching them how to solve problems will irritate them even more.
Better Perspective Of Female Period
To help you see a better perspective. let’s take a look at this Pink image below.
If you understand this text. You can imagine these 2965 topics are totally what guys would seldom think of.
Let’s see, Each tab goes like – Fat. Pimples. Acne. Ugly. Lousy Girlfriend. Pain. Depress. Self-worth. Insecurities. How to be confident? I’m not smart. why do I feel so bad? Why do I snap at him?! OMG I am the worst girlfriend! We fight all the time! What’s wrong with my guy?! Bad relationship….Does he still love me?…And the list goes on…(i could go on seriously.)
Can you imagine double the amount of tabs that are open during her period?!
3 How Not To Fail
I truly hope you get what I’m trying to illustrate.
The diagram below is my illustration of a negative index. I am here to help you HOW NOT TO FAIL.
Day 1 to 7 is too volatile, and every minor situation may result in a huge fight.
Too many uncertainties for guys to cope with. Tough for both males and females.
Not trying to scare you, as I’m sharing this information to let you know that you have to stick with her, support her!
By proving your resolve of committing to her during her downtime. You’re less likely to fail.
If you succeed in not failing, do write to us and share your story. And if you have your own version of the drawing. Please feel free to share!
Above Diagram – The emotions overload is like the tabs I mentioned earlier.
Like a PC or MAC, bloody slow the processor down and lag or hang. Low Batt and some important function not working. Nope, no amount of RAM or SSD will help.
Sorry dude, you can’t reinstall OS.
Sorry, no reboot.
Rules of Engagement
Understand, if she has a choice, she’d rather not experience menstrual cycle at all.
Premenstrual Syndrome irritates the hell out of her and you shall not add to her suffering. If she can, she’ll wish to share the pain with you to let you see her perspective.
So the best thing guys can do is to make her feel better. Or Just be around.
4 Be Sensitive, Ask Carefully
Do ask if her period is coming.
This is to acknowledge the fact that she will be going through some tough times, you are sorry she has had to go through these times, at the same time gear up on your protective suit.
Learn to be more thick skin – whatever she says seems to be against you. It isn’t. Trust me, my friends.
Get the right perspective and don’t take it personally. You’ll do well and receive more love after that.
What you should not do is to ask her if she’s having PMS right after her a spurt of wrath. Got to be smarter to ask when she’s chirpy and forgot all about your stupid earlier mistakes.
5 Breakfast or Lunch or Dinner? Ask Many Questions at 1 Time
Don’t ask loads of questions – If you need to ask, make it bloody count. She won’t have the time to entertain you although she wants to as her body doesn’t allow. (Point 3)
If she needs warm water or medication or desserts (Ask all questions at once)
Ask all questions at once: Don’t ever ask 1 single question after every answer given.
The right way of approach is: Can I get you Chocolate, warm water, any medication, or how about blanket or I make you ginger tea?
You might get scolded for asking too many questions and you will bear in mind it’s the better way.
She might be in too much pain or struggle to answer you the best possible way.
Survival Tip
Use “Can I” / make you… or get you….
instead of “Do you want” me to make you… or get you…
Can I // She’ll be happier and more appreciative to answer you.
Do you want // You will most likely be rejected of your offer. Because she interpretes “do you want” as a tone which makes her seem like she demands of you to do things which you do not wish doing. Your tone of reluctantance does not help. So in order not to start a arguement, she will say no even though she needs your help.
I have friends who told me. They’d rather leave their partners alone instead of getting scolded for nothing.
Let’s talk a little about the game plan:
Plan A) I will get scolded for asking many questions at one go, seems useless
– VS –
Plan B) I don’t ask anything and wait for her to initiate asking, then I will do it
Which is the winning hand?
(A) might look like you’re losing but in actual fact. Your girlfriend/wife does keep accounts for your consideration and sacrifices.
In her eyes, your value as a BF/Husband goes up. And you attain new skillset to safely evade future wrath! (This is the real thing man)
You will find that your leeway for mistakes will be widened!
If you’re in for the long term commitment, Plan A FTW!
Most guys will likely choose (B) because for manly reasons, and most just simply prefer to have a straightforward request. So that they know what are the exact ways to help their girl.
Guys might think it’s the better way, therefore this is the winning method.
No, this is not the winning hand. Guys lose points and value by believing and sticking to B.
I will go in-depth in another post so that you won’t feel like you’re the loser in the relationship. In fact, this is a negotiation skill which will help you loads in the future.
Conclusion Of Part 1
We have to end this topic for now. There’s so much to talk about regarding the monthly tremulous PMS. But trust me, you will learn to manage it pretty well if only you are willing to learn and remember.
My advice to you is: Your role is not a doctor. Better to think of yourself as a nurse.
(there’s some negotiation theory behind this but that’s for the next post)
And read How Not To Fail again show your commitment to her no matter how bad or clumsy you are. This is your grind. Your future dividend payout will definitely be way above your expectations.
Read Survival Tip on how to ask. Let me know how it works out.