All happiness is short-lived. On the other hand, Pain and Disappointment will last a long time. Why at one moment your relationship was great, and the perfection goes south – at times you said something wrong, or you’re not attentive enough…Is your relationship meant to fail no matter what? Always remember this principle. I will expound on this pillar of value on the index diagram below. And I hope you can find your enlightenment on the above.
Guys will discuss broadly this issue. But the problem is, this remains a mysterious issue where most guy friends weren’t able to escape from. This vicious cycle kept going till guys meet a girl who is “The Right Fit” low self-esteem or intelligence or loves him more than he does to her. I was one of those guys. Until I learn some important skillset and tools guys must possess if you want a good relationship, meaningful and long-lasting. I will not go so far as to say it is proven by many people. But please do feel free to experiment with it on your relationship and see if it helps.
Your mission is not to make her happy, just DON’T make her upset.
See, your best bet is always not to make her upset, if you can maintain it. Your relationship is on the winning end of the overall metric.
Top & Top Diagram
Pros: Maximum enjoyment High short term gains Best performing Happiness metric
Cons: Conditioned to receive even better treatment the next round Non Exhaustive ideas Non-sustainable Huge loss for a long term commitment Relationship Meant To Fail
You can attract a certain type of partner where your appetite for enjoyment is always up to the roof. You expect nothing other than the best treatment. And you will usually attract girls who enjoy the finer things in life. The point is you can’t always show her fireworks all the time, she will get bored of it one day. Your vested interest in seeing happiness must be matched with your financial prowess.
Peak
The moment when magic is gone and you’re faced with a predicament to settle arguments. The worse part about Peak is – it can happen any moment regardless of the value of how happy she is. (Happiness is Short-Lived and women cannot control it)
Right after the peak is the fall. Notice fall is linear downwards, as it is an emotional reaction, therefore. There is no chance given. Sharp slope, until you can learn how to manage the fall. Most likely, you’re not able to contain the fall. A fight ensues and then cold war and finally Settlement starts.
// As months go by if you’re unable to manage what she wants. You will find the peak is easier to reach, but the duration from mistakes and misery are deeper. The road to recovery is much longer. Remember Pain and Disappointment will last a long time. Although the couple can recover. She will not forget.
Small peaks, huge dip
End of Misery It starts the moment either party admits the mistake and seek for another chance.
Road to Recovery Is when you need another plan to settle and get out of the fall.
This type of relationship cycle is extremely common and is unsustainable. This leads to burnout. Therefore will lead to the downfall of any relationship. More of it at the end of this post.
Relationship Meant To Fail Unless You Understand This
Actually it’s never her fault, to begin with. You must see the unbias truth. You did all the work to bring her to the peak of happiness, when the bubble burst, you cannot blame her for being emotional. What you have to learn from here is, women’s pain and disappointment can stay for a long time, happiness is short-lived, the fall is sharp and we don’t know how far the lowest point will go.
Your greatest chance to win is to observe her pattern from “Mistake” to “End of Misery”. She will reveal her real self to you, see the mask peel off right before you. Do not be enchanted by her beauty and her good points. She is trusting you enough to be frank. Be super observant and gain clarity of what irritates and offends her during this period of time. You will gain great tactics to overcome the next wave of Fall. The more you learn, the more you can short the Time of Misery and make recovery meaningful. (Unless // Future Post)
If she cannot rationalize or be controlled in her emotions. Then you should walk away from the relationship, no matter how hot she is.
“If a $500 ring really could bring us five times the joy of a $100 ring, money and possessions would ensure lasting happiness. But no matter how rich you become, no matter how many things you own, the joy from all your things won’t be much different from how you feel now. There are emotional limitations to the feelings of happiness that we’re able to experience when we obtain something for the first time.”
The relationship tends to be short term to mid-term. Short term may have the best payouts, high input gain high returns. For natural and experienced, young and green. Especially those who love thrills and rollercoasters.
Especially for guys who withstood this relationship for up to 1 year or more. Have your savings depleted up to 50%? High returns, solid in the beginning, ends with Diminishing returns or loss(not surprising). But the consolation is, the guy might have grown to be more battle hardy. More experience to overcome future challenges. The greatest lesson, recognize this pattern and cut losses decisively.
Meanwhile, should you choose to continue to upkeep this type of relationship. Yes, Your Relationship is Meant to Fail.
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