Appreciate Women’s Talk
I love sharing with many married couples about my findings to see if my observations of “How women Talk” are true.
“Your wife doesn’t need you to listen all the time.
She wants you to listen carefully when it counts. (I see head nods)
And at most times, you just need to get:
(A) the gist of the whole story and
(B)what she’s trying to say to you.
*MEGA HINT* You have 10 chances to understand the theme she’s saying. You are allowed to miss 8 out of 10 times but you must get it right for at least 2 times.
Believe me, she will surely leave loads of signals and hints for you. So it is up to you to know what she is pitching.
When her downtime happens, she feels resentful towards you for not giving her the attention or not listening to her and tending to her emotions. Your input, suggestion(s) or your analysis DOES NOT matter. (Seriously it doesn’t mean shit right from the beginning anyway)
With your manly understanding, you regurgitate her situation to her.
And her emotions that she has shared for the past 10 times.
And finally, tell her you understand where she is coming from and acknowledge her efforts(Empathy). She has done her very best despite all the hardships thrown at her(Validation). Give her a pat on the back(Power Up Validation).
She sees you in a new light.
She will realize that you have been listening to her all this time and you actually understand and respect her as a wife.
You will make her realize all this time spent talking to you wasn’t a waste of time at all!
In this new skill you acquire:
Your value increases.
She will value your suggestions more.
She will give more attention to you as you have to her.
I find this skill the most important for men, especially married men, because we have the habit of slacking in amount of attention towards our wives, this (lack of attention/taking things for granted) is most destructive in a relationship.
I wish to impart what I’ve learned regarding listening to women and how women speak.
Mystery – Women Are Not Honest At Most Times
Women do not speak honestly all the time and it’s time to know that. They don’t want to be too honest and sound like a bitch. Because no one likes to be near a bitch and they know it all too well. So that’s why most of their sharing is cryptic.
Let’s try to decode the cryptic messages.
So when does the woman speak honestly?
When they speak they tend to speak in 5-10 sentences in 1 set.
Huh? What?
Carry on reading.
They can speak in 5 to 10 sentences(reps) in one set.
(This differs between individuals but trackable with your own experience).
None of what they said bore any practical information. The real meaning is when we can pick out strings of information and form into presentable data.
With that said, women speak up to release emotions. A therapeutic act for them.
If you are able to get past the numerous set and pick out their peculiarity, you will be able to glimpse honesty between those reps. These, are the golden nuggets in a woman’s heart.
I hope you get the terms on Rep and Set, is a little technical and I really want to get this through to you guys.
How Women Talk In Phase or Set
Let’s say, she speaks in 5 to 10 sentences within a single-phase or set. Out of the 5 -10 sentences, there is only one sentence that she wants you to listen to. (Most are key phrases)
Assuming she uses up all 10 Sets. You have about 50 – 100 sentences of information to not screw up!
What about the other sentences in between? Ignore first.
Men listen to information and process and women talk to themselves. Sometimes she’s just saying how stupid she was, she resents that she has to go jogging or she helped a friend. Sometimes she is just releasing her emotions. All those are not meant for you.
Here’s the skill you need to practice for this round:
Beginner Level 1
You always listen to every first and last sentence of each phase. This rule is non negotiable.
Anything in between, you don’t have to take much notice.
Learn what is the subject/theme she is trying to convey. (Now don’t roll your eye at me, its not that simple)
Beginner Level 2
Learn to listen to every first 3-5 words of each sentence. You shall learn to pick out one middle word
Count how many sentences in a phase. It helps a lot!
Beginner Level 3
You shall not interrupt her sharing. Be observant and practise L1 and L2
End of Part 1
You can read a light version of this topic here
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